Many women dream of becoming pregnant, falling asleep and waking up already after a birth of the child (having overslept all 9 months), or to give birth to the child in a month from the moment of conception. Certainly, pregnancy not easy task for the woman, however, not all realize, what changes and problems will begin in home life after a birth of the child. Also, as many spouses come to the doctor not before conception of the child, and already after, also they do not hurry up to solve family disorders till a birth of the child. And it is vain, as with a birth of a new member of a family matrimonial relations are completely reconstructed, there are new roles, loading on all members of a family increases that usually causes an aggravation before existing problems in a family.

From the point of view of family therapy home life assumes certain stages of development, each of which is interfaced to crisis of mutual relations. Here these stages: the courting period, a marriage, a birth of children, children go to school, teenage age, children leave a family, one of spouses dies. Proceeding from my practice, it is possible to tell that most acute crises shake a family after a birth of the child, and also in his growing up and leaving a family. The first crisis can be the sharpest if the courting and marriage period was very short, relations of spouses had not time to settle and already they wait for the child. The second crisis spouses feel who have few general interests besides a life and bringing up of children more often. In such situation happens that after leaving of the child from a family, it appears that marriage has already executed the function and spouses do not have further sense to stay together. Such family will interfere in every possible way with leaving of children from parents, encouraging their irresponsibility and infantility. Coming back to the first crisis it is possible to specify some more possible reasons: sexual deprivation of the husband, that is absent of frequent sexual relations in pregnancy and after it, mother gives more attention to the newborn child and the husband accordingly starts to feel lonely, at the same time he can avoid to help her about the house and care of the child, thereby provoking insults and irritation of the wife. If in a family already there is one child his/her competition and jealousy of the newborn, most likely, becomes one more occasion of pressure in a family.

It is good, when spouses can entrust the child to parents or the nurse and to stay alone, have possibility to go somewhere, but not everyone has such possibility. Besides, different representations of spouses and their own parents how will be correct to bring up the successor also will generate the conflicts.

In such situation, possibly, it would be correct, if spouses till a birth of the child aspired to “settle” existing problems in their relations that pregnancy and the postnatal period proceeded most easy. Harmonious matrimonial relations during this period will be also a guarantee of absence of postnatal depression and fears at mother. If you cannot understand with problems independently, for this purpose there are family psychologists and psychotherapists.

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