Posts Tagged ‘marriage advice’

Every marriage has problems. Let me say that again: every marriage, no matter how perfect if seems on the outside, has problems. I want to emphasize this because many couples want you to think they’ve never had any types of issues with their marriage. And a lot of those same people want to criticize you for how you are handling your marriage. It’s my experience that the people who criticize the most are the ones with the biggest problems. They simply aren’t honest enough to admit it.

So if you are having problems with your marriage, what can you do about it? There’s no magic recipe or solution. Relationships take work. Anyone who tells you otherwise is lying. The question you need to ask yourself is this: is my marriage worth the work? Some people may say no and at least they are being honest. But most people will answer absolutely YES. To most people, aside from their children, their marriage is the most important thing in their lives and they will do almost anything to keep it together.

One of the first steps in repairing a broken marriage is tolisten to your spouse. Many problems start because both people want to talk but neither wants to listen. Sometimes having a partner who listens is all that it takes to make the other person feel wanted and special. So no matter how badly you want to butt in while your partner is speaking, hold your tongue and wait your turn. You’ll be amazed to see how this simple technique can work wonders.

Another step in fixing a marriage is to forget the past. Things happen in marriages; people make mistakes. Some mistakes are bigger than others but we’re all human and we all deserve forgiveness. Now this doesn’t mean you forgive no matter how many times you’re hurt. If a person is continually hurting you emotionally, maybe they don’t deserve to be in a relationship with you. But if you know your partner and you know that deep down they are a good person, forgetting past mistakes can help you move forward. But do not tell your partner that you forgive him or her and then keep bringing it up over and over again after the fact. Either you forgive or you don’t. There is no in between.

Finally, you need to be honest. Lies will kill any marriage. Even the small lies can balloon into larger ones. And once your partner loses trust in you, it is extremely hard to get it back. If you do find yourself lying to your spouse over and over, you need to take a hard look at yourself. Lying to someone is the same as disrespecting them. And if you continue to disrespect your spouse over and over again, maybe you aren’t mature enough to be in a marriage.

Marriage is one of the most enjoyable but also one of the most painful experiences that people undergo. It carries with it the whiff of romance and eternal bliss, but sometimes you get a pack of thorns instead.

How Do You Ensure Your Marriage Is a Bed of Roses and not Thorns?
One of the major ingredients that a happy marriage needs is a willingness to compromise. But that is much more difficult than it seems. Everyone will agree that they need to compromise, but what happens when the issue is not a simple and tiny one? What then? Who Compromises first? I am sure you must have said to yourself at one point or another that enough is enough. You will no longer be the patsy. You are an independent person and your partner has crossed the line. Maybe.

Maybe your relationship has died and you are just beginning to realize it. Maybe your sentiments are more passionate than romantic. Maybe you no longer love her.

Stop being a fool!
What if I told you that the solution to your marital strife is not divorce. Am I mad?

Look around. How many divorces do you know? Plenty. Me too. But are they really happier off?

What is the first thing that a divorced person does? He or she goes out and starts looking for partners.

Isn’t that strange? No. You say that everybody needs somebody to love. Maybe. I say that they had that somebody and they just let them go. So please stop being foolish.

Why not tackle your problems with a simple suggestion? A Game.

Games as a Peace Maker:
Playing brings out the child in us and causes us to express more than we normally would. We also release bottled up frustration and let go of mental thorns in our outbursts of joy and anguish as we win or lose. Games unite people together and therefore I suggest playing together but if you wish one can play against the other. The game turns into a battle but only this time, after its over, you will both feel refreshed from losing all that bottled up pain and anger.

Games to Pick From:
Try picking games that both of you like or at least somewhat active ones. You could even play hide and seek in the house or something else. If you do prefer playing cards, pick a game which does not go on for long and which requires some thinking like hearts, poker, bridge or rummy. Keep score and determine before hand that the loser has to do something for the winner. Chores is not a prize for the winner! If you lose you have to do something that that the other person wants for themselves like give them their favorite massage or cook them their favorite meal.

Conclusion:
Games are a welcome ambrosia to love and will excite you as a couple to disregard all your frustrations and anger and deal only with the good. The anger and frustrations will not magically disappear, but now you can deal with them together calmly and in a good mood.

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